On Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, and [Un]Intimate Knowledge of Your Own Yoni

For this video I share my thoughts on the USA popular media obsession with which celebrity is having [hetero]sexual relations with which celebrity’s yoni and how in contrast, I find it strange that most people with yonis in the USA don’t want to have a holistic and intimate knowledge of their own reproductive health. Yoni is another word for vagina. 

The book I refer to in this video is call Sacred Woman by Queen Afua.

10 thoughts on “On Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, and [Un]Intimate Knowledge of Your Own Yoni

  1. Very moving, Breeze. Thank you.

    It is bizarre how the cult of celebrity has a strong “yoni mystique” (blending you and Friedan here 🙂 ).

    You have really alerted me about the close link between cosmetic industry products and fertility issues in women of color. The obsession with celebrity sexual life comes hand in hand attention on their fertility treatments, case in point Kim Kardashian. What is troubling, and sadder unto itself, is that these celebrity women are often so alienated from their own sense of holistic, reproductive health. Why does the connection between chemical cosmetics and fertility seems to go unnoticed by them? These women, who tend to be profoundly uneducated, pay tens of thousands of dollars to consult with medical practitioners who, I bet, never ONCE acknowledge or raise the issue of chemicals as an impediment to conceive. These women are victims of the system. It is quite sad when one thinks about it,YET my compassion is often challenged by frustration and anger.

    Past a certain point I do feel that celebrity women of color with bleached, straightened burned hair, such as Beyonce and Shakira are willfully ignorant. Don’t they get how messed-up the message is when they they participate in campaigns and initiatives to “educate youth,” i.e.communities of color??Again, I try to be compassionate by acknowledging that these women are not fully connecting the dots, but part of me gets exacerbated and brands them as hypocrites. It baffles me sometimes, it really does. Do they need more millions, really? Do they need to continue caving in to white beauty– industry standards? Don’t they “get” the psycho-emotional AND health/reproductive harm they perpetuate on to to millions of little girls of color??

    I myself have been on a journey of holistic “yoni” health, exploring wombs and vaginas a a channel (no pun intended) for understanding and bettering the world. I’ve made serious mistakes in the past about my own sexual health because of social pressures and impositions about gender but, as a result, I have profoundly internalized feminist lessons. In turn, shocks me how even educated people will respond in judgement when one speaks knowledgeably about reproduction and sexuality (not even getting into race here). Even a trivial little thing, like promoting reusable pads, makes people shirk in disgust. Which, of course, is tied to the loathing and disgust that women have sadly been taught to internalize about their bodies.

    Anyhow, Breeze, thanks for everything. I look forward to more of your work this year!! Oh, how I wish for more Snarky Fanon!!!

  2. Here’s my frustration. I love Queen Afua and i believe in health and food as medicine. however, I get really irritated that women of color and black women are asked to contort themselves trough diet in ways that anglo women are not. For example to address certain reproductive disorders that are more prevalent among women of color. I know raw and vegan diets are the treatment options, but it still angers me that white women aren’t asked to contort themselves to address infertility for example. instead medicine as felt compelled to innovate.

    1. Andrea, please explain more about ‘contorting’ one’s self? I know I was thinking that there are plenty of Black women who use allopathic means, such as in vitro fertilization or hormone therapies to increase fertility. So, I’d like to hear your take on this and more explanation of your frustration. I appreciate it and thanks for readin.

      1. I see the diet adjustments required (veganism, vegetarianism, deletion of so much from the diet, raw) as very cool, but a sort of contortion of our eating behavior that while essentially healthy for most is also an extreme modification or contortion. If white women had fibroids, extreme bleeding, etc. at the rate we did, a pharmaceutical solution would arise. Now I know there are regional differences, I live i Texas so what may seem like not such a big stretch in California is a
        “contortion” here. As for fertility, the rate of the problem among black women is lower than in white women thus the responsiveness of the industry in developing solutions. I am not a hater of veganism, but I do resent what seems like an unfair burden because of market failure. Wat is available medically doesn’t often work and efforts to improve upon it are slow coming. This all coming from someone battling endometriosis for years. Surgery has helped but for so many it doesn’t. And the diet adjustments simply don;t work for some, I know I have tried. Again, I try to decrease meat and stay away from red meat. I just hate ow neglected our health is by mainstream establishment. But it also goes to your larger point, we, black women are more interested in others’ yonis and wombs than our own.

        1. Andrea, thanks for your insights. I do not 100% agree with Afua’s rationale, but I am appreciative of her writings and how she has helped me become more aware of my own body and to be more intimate with it. I don’t think that Afrocentric veganism is the only way, but one way that works for many but not all. I understand your frustration but I also dedicate 60 pages of analysis of Afua’s Sacred Woman food regiment in my dissertation and critique certain things that I find problematic in Afua’s rhetoric.

  3. You are awesome (and funny). 🙂 I’ve liberated myself from my gynocologist three months ago, when I decided to quit taking the minipill that inhibited (is that the right word?) my period for five years, even though she told me it was necessary to keep taking this pill. I feel so much better now, less headaches and the bleeding is great (haha). I’m also in the process of getting to know my vagina better (we already know each other quite well) and I must say, life is a lot better than it was before. Less shame, more pleasure, more knowledge and therefore more self-determination of my body. I’m still guilty in being interested in Rihannas vagina too though. 😉 Thank you for the great video!

  4. Blessings to you Breeze, Thank you for your video.

    I am currently reading “Homecoming” written by John Broadshaw who explains why some people become obsessed/addicted to sex or other people’s sexuality (or anything else, for that matter).

    Moralizing, stunting their children’s development, overexposing their own sexuality , and other types of destructive and health hindering behaviors and mechanisms are, in his opinion and my own, merely constructs from a false ego trying to hide toxic shame. I believe that if we are not nurturing and in contact with ourselves, not present in ourselves, we will become more interested in what’s going on in others.

    Toxic shame is said to have root in early stages of learning (imposed rigid sexual roles, shameful parents transmiting the same to their children, dysfunctional and abusive environments, establishments that may or may not thrive on shame (schools, churches, synagogues, etc). All these roles, these masks we have learned to put on drive us further and further away from a healthy Self hence a healthy relationship with Self. How can one have a healthy dialogue with one’s yoni if one is not whole in one’s Self? Instead, one will project, hate, judge, consume other people’s personal business and hinder one’s own intimate life.

    And goodness knows there are so many ways to hinder our own intimate experiences, one of which is being obsessed with that of others.

    I highly recommend this book. It is highly down to earth, easy to read, reviewed by peers, has no religious agenda. He explains, in a very methodological and concise fashion how to unpeel the roles, the masks, the false indentities we have been given or we have given to ourselves and to others.

    “In America -and in Canada- sex is an obsession, but everywhere else in the world it is a fact”

  5. What a treat to find your blog. You have much insight and bring up questions that I find myself asking. I have been having yoni issues and your blog brings me hope. Thank you!

Add a Mindful Comment (No Trolling Please)